Again, I'm going to have some fun with this and post two different pics. This first one is more recent; I took it in Morro Bay in April of this year when HubbyButt and I went over and met my cousin and her boyfriend for dinner. This was taken right around sunset, but you can't tell because the day was really overcast and rainy - basically one of those days when it's really nice to curl up with some cocoa and a really good book. What you see in this picture is fishing net on a giant reel; the white things are buoys. I just love the contrast of all the colors in the net against each other and against the steely sky and black reel. I would really like to be able to zoom in on the netting a bit to show off the texture of the net and the buoys and the reel itself; I think rust is just a beautiful texture when photographed. I'd also really like to submit this to the county fair here; our county always has a really big photo exhibit.
This second photo is one I took while in Huntington Beach at our church's annual women's retreat last October. I had just gotten my new camera (well, new to me anyway) and was getting back in the groove of manual focus. I had no idea when I took the picture that the sun was hitting the railing like that! When I picked up the prints, I was amazed. What I was trying to do was just follow the line of the stairs and the rail, and I ended up getting this really cool picture of a ray of light landing right in the middle of the photo. It's these kinds of pictures that I love love love to take. That's one reason I prefer film to digital: You never know exactly what you're going to get, and you're surprised when you get your prints back. Often, you forget exactly what you took pictures of and are reminded of good memories and good times when you get your prints.
I know it's odd that this picture makes me sad, but it does. This was taken a little over 2 years ago, when I was living in Sacramento on my own. I was at my lowest weight ever, 145 pounds. I was able to wear that outfit for the length of about 3 months before I gained too much weight to wear it anymore.
This picture makes me sad because I looked so good and I'll never look like that again. I was really happy with my body at that point and I'd love to get there again.
I think this picture also kind of captures my independence in one shot. I had my own apartment in midtown Sacramento, I was on the Dean's list at school with a 3.9 GPA, and I was working full time. I was able to take care of myself and I was doing just fine. I had great friends around me, but I didn't need them to provide for me (not financially, anyway; my friend Kat was ALWAYS there for me emotionally and I'm forever grateful to her for helping me deal with stuff I was unable to deal with on my own); I was just starting to date and I was just really really enjoying life.
Not that I don't enjoy my life now. I LOVE my life. I love being a wife and mommy-to-be, and when Princess arrives, I'm going to love being a mommy. I love my job (most days) and I love the way my family has grown. I do want to get back in school and earn my degree, but I know the chances of that happening are really low, which makes me sad.
Most of all, I want to get back to that weight. I still have the jeans (they're the only ones I've ever bought from American Eagle) just in case they ever happen to fit again. Once Princess arrives, I'm going to start running again, since that's what got me where I was in this picture. I'm already eating better since Princess likes fruits and veggies and doesn't have much of a sweet-tooth. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up the good habits Princess has made me start living once she arrives. I want to be healthy for her sake; I want her to know how to make the right choices in taking care of herself; I want her to enjoy healthy habits so she never has to deal with body image issues like her mommy has.
Right now, I have 2 pictures that make me happy. The first was taken last June, when HubbyButt and I decided to spend some time taking pictures in the park. He tackled me and started tickling me, so I couldn't decide if I was supposed to laugh or be angry. Hehe. I really really love this picture. As our friend Wendy put it when talking about another picture taken the same day, "In 20 years you'll look back on this one and remember the new love glowing in your eyes!" I think we got married a week or 2 after this picture was taken, and Wendy's right, there is new love glowing in our eyes; we just make each other so happy!
This second one is the first one taken of Princess where she actually looks like a baby. Her heart was nice and strong even then. The day this picture was taken the first time we ever heard our little girl's heartbeat. I'll never 
forget the way HubbyButt's face lit up when we heard that, or the way I felt at that moment. I just knew there was a little miracle living inside me, and that everything was going to be okay. One the day this picture was taken, I had lost 25 pounds and was still vomiting more than once an hour (sorry if it's TMI, but this IS my blog, lol); after seeing our little miracle and hearing her heartbeat and really knowing that she was okay no matter how sick I was, I started getting better. I only vomited one more time that day and was released to go back to work the next week; I was able to eat again and started getting back to health. So, it's more about the sound I associate with this picture that makes me happy, but it's still a picture that makes me happy!
What better day than the 4th of July for my first "What tickles your fancy?" I love the 4th, not because I have any traditions that I keep, but there's just a festive air about the whole day. It seems that people are more patient and understanding and grateful for one another when they take time to be grateful for the independence we as Americans are blessed with. It probably doesn't hurt that a lot of people are off tomorrow as well, and therefore don't have to worry about partying it up tonight, but c'est la vie.
I suppose I do have a small tradition that I've developed over the last few years (or my whole life, if you ask my mom). Since I don't have a steady group of friends to go out and do things with, I have no problem (I almost prefer it now...) staying home in my jammies watching the Boston Pops. I love seeing the big groups of people all gathered together, just celebrating their independence and the fact that they can all get together in one place and not be suspected of criminal activity or something.
I must admit that I'm really excited for next year, when Princess will be here. I think all holidays get a little more fun and exciting when you add a child to the mix. At this time next year, Princess will be just about 10 months old. I'm sure she'll be scared of all the loud noises, but I can just imagine her little face, enraptured by the fireworks. Personally, I was TERRIFIED of fireworks until I was in high school. I remember one year my dad took my brother and myself to the fireworks display at the local junior college football stadium, and on the way home we saw a house that was on fire; I don't think I'll ever forget seeing the destruction that can come from festivity and stupidity. I was only about six or seven at the time, and that image has just stuck with me.
I am so grateful to all members of every military branch that are currently serving and that have served in the past. Their bravery is astounding, and it's something I don't think I could ever do. Thank you for protecting your country and putting your lives on the line, I don't think that gets said enough. My prayers are with you and your families.
Sheesh, this one's hard. I don't know that I necessarily have a favorite quote. One saying I try to live and work by is, "Live beyond reproach." The district manager at the company I work at closes all his emails and meetings by reminding us to manage beyond reproach, and I think that's a pretty good way to live your life. I try to live my life like someone is always watching me, judging what I do, and I make decisions based on that. For example, I'm not going to put myself in a situation where, for instance, potentially embarrassing pictures of myself could be taken and put on display on Facebook for everyone to see, including my boss and coworkers. How can I be an effective supervisor if everyone that works under me has had access to pictures of me, say ... dancing provocatively with someone that's not my husband? I would be the subject of everyone's conversation in that case, and no work would get done; I would no longer be an asset to the company I work with, and I could lose my job as a result. I tend to see things in the big picture, and I can see situations begin to snowball and know exactly how they're going to end up, and I'm not going to put myself at the center of that snowball if I can help it. Now, I don't try to take myself too seriously, I do like to go out and have fun, but I know when to stop, and I think that's part of what living beyond reproach entails. I also think that when people can no longer come to you with questions not only about work, but about life in general, because they're no longer comfortable talking to you about those things based on things they've seen in you, that's not a good thing. That's one thing I really enjoy about my position at work: I'm not a store manager or assistant manager, but I'm a part of the management team as a whole; I am a superior and I think people that I work with are able to trust that what's said between myself and them will stay between myself and them, I'm not going to tell the whole world about so-and-so's problem at home. Overall, I try to live the way I think Christ would want me to live. I may not follow all Ten Commandments all the time (I know I have a cursing problem), but I'd say I set a good example most of the time. Yes, I have bad thoughts every now and again, and I know that there are some things in my life that I need to forgive and forget and move on from, but I try not to let them interfere with how I live my life and how I lead others. I try to lead by example and live beyond reproach.
I'm taking another day off from 30 Days of Me to groan a little. It's happy groaning, because I'm thrilled to be pregnant, but it's groaning nonetheless.
Right now, I'm 29 weeks and 4 days; almost 3 weeks ago, I started my third trimester. On Friday of week 27, I felt my first Braxton-Hicks contractions (basically practice contractions). At 28 weeks and 5 days, I had my own little victory party when I discovered that I will probably be able to nurse with little to no problems (I don't wanna go too TMI here, but I was just REALLY excited, and still am!). During the last few weeks, I've found that I'm swelling quite a bit, especially in my hands; and that I tire out much faster than at any other point in my pregnancy (the first trimester doesn't count because I was so sick all I did was sleep and vomit). My belly aches, my back hurts, and I don't think my wedding ring will be coming off any time soon, unless HubbyButt pulls it off in the middle of the night when I'm sleeping and not as swollen.
I've also been having these really odd dreams; they're not scary, just ... weird! Like, the other night I dreamed that a bunch of the hooligan kids out where I work all brought their bikes and skateboards into the store I work in and basically turned the place into a stunt park, and I couldn't do anything because I was too swollen to chase them around and get them out of the store, so I just sat in the office and watched this swarm of teenagers come in and wreck the store on the security screens!
I've also been really, really emotional lately! HubbyButt and I saw Toy Story 3 today, and I cried every time Andy's mom came on screen. HubbyButt admitted to crying at the end (I won't give the ending away in case there are people that haven't seen that NEED to!), but I cried the whole time! Every time I talk to my mom (who lives twelve hours away and therefore can't see my growing belly and feel Princess move inside of me), I cry! I manage to not cry when I'm talking to her, but as soon as the call ends, the tears start. Heck, I cried when I bought Princess her first diaper yesterday (we're cloth diapering and Babies R Us has single covers on clearance)! I'm just very very overwhelmed by everything going on around and in me lately; I don't know how long I can keep this up without having a serious break-down!
I know it's only going to get more intense before it gets better, and I am so grateful to God for enabling me to get pregnant and have this experience, as much of a roller coaster as it has been. From losing 25 pounds in the first month after finding out I was pregnant thanks to hyperemisis gravidarum to crying at cartoons, this has been a wonderful journey, and I can't wait to meet Princess in just about ten weeks!
Grrr! Another broad topic! I've read so many great books, I don't know if I can pick one favorite. I'm a huge fan of the Harry Potter series, but I've also read all the Twilight books. I've also read quite a few books by Ayn Rand, which I really enjoyed, although I don't quite agree with everything she stands for. In fact, I think one of my favorite non-series books is her novel We The Living, which is the closest she ever got to an autobiography. There's just something ... almost haunting about the way she writes and develops her characters and plots. Although her books are really long, they suck you in and you get totally absorbed in the world she creates in them. I mean, Atlas Shrugged is 1069 pages (the copy I own, anyway) and takes months to read (I think I read it in five months?), but is totally worth the time and effort! Plus, if you're looking for scholarship money and have the motivation to sit down and read either Atlas Shrugged or The Fountainhead, The Ayn Rand Institute holds an essay contest every year.
I'm always looking for new books to read, so let me know of any recommendations! I've got maternity leave coming up, and I'll have a full month between leaving work and starting mommy-hood (well, I'm supposed to anyway...), during which time it'll be way too hot to do anything but read, so give me some ideas!
Also, HubbyButt isn't home and I can't figure out how to link through the photo! If anyone could PLEASE tell me how to do that, I would REALLY appreciate the help!
This second photo is one I took while in Huntington Beach at our church's annual women's retreat last October. I had just gotten my new camera (well, new to me anyway) and was getting back in the groove of manual focus. I had no idea when I took the picture that the sun was hitting the railing like that! When I picked up the prints, I was amazed. What I was trying to do was just follow the line of the stairs and the rail, and I ended up getting this really cool picture of a ray of light landing right in the middle of the photo. It's these kinds of pictures that I love love love to take. That's one reason I prefer film to digital: You never know exactly what you're going to get, and you're surprised when you get your prints back. Often, you forget exactly what you took pictures of and are reminded of good memories and good times when you get your prints.
